China, Part Two: Nanning and Lillie-Kat
I will always love Nanning. It is not my daughter's hometown, but it is where we became a family.
We arrived on Sunday, August 6, in the middle of rain from the edges of a typhoon. Even so, the air was a welcome relief after the smog and pollution of Beijing, and the small airport a quiet respite after the chaos at Capital Airport.
Our guide, Grace (have I mentioned she was AWESOME?) found the driver and we drove off to the Majestic Hotel. Along the drive, I noticed that the scenery and architecture reminded me more of Thailand than China... just more tropical in feel. We were just 150 miles north of Hanoi, Vietnam, so we were definitely in the heat! With no major waterways (there is a river), it was not only hot but very humid the entire time.
The Majestic was exactly as expected - grand lobby, nice sized room that were typical Chinese hotel - a little shabby, but neat and clean. We got a nice surprise at check-in to find out that not only had they put us on the non-smoking floor, but also there was a computer with internet in the room! Hooray! (Sorry for the lack of blogging while there - while I welcome everyone to read this blog, we wanted to keep our updates from China within friends and family, just because we had no idea how things would go). The crib was there and waiting for us too:
We had a free day the rest of Sunday, and used it to catch up on some sleep (James) and explore the neighborhood (me). Our guide offered to take us shopping, but we decided to wait for later for that.
We expected to meet Lillie-Kat at 9:30 am on Monday the 7th, so we nervously ate breakfast and got dressed. Just before we were ready to leave, Grace called and said the Civil Affairs Office called and Lillie-Kat had JUST left the SWI, three and a half hours away! So we wouldn't meet her until 3:30 that afternoon. We used the time to go buy a stroller (If you're going to Nanning, ask your guide to take you to the 4th floor of Heping Shangchang - it's a local shopping place that's half the price of the mall that most people go to).
When we got back, I had a message that a courier from Grace & Hope, the organization that sponsored Lillie-Kat's foster care, had dropped off the promised CD containing pictures and reports from the G&H social worker. We looked at the photos on Grace's computer -- it was an incredibly emotional time. The CD contained dozens of photos from when Lillie-Kat was just a month or two old and still in the orphanage all the way up to the present. The biggest gift was the photos of Lillie-Kat with her wonderful foster family.* The love in their eyes for this child is so evident, and James and I both cried over the thought of their pain at relinquishing this beautiful, beautiful baby. After we met Lillie-Kat, we gave thanks even more for the foster family's love and attention, as we soon learned that Lillie-Kat is healthy, developmentally on target, emotionally well-adjusted, and a host of other miracles that can only be explained by love. (In each photo, Lillie-Kat was immaculately dressed, sometimes in hand-made and crocheted clothes. We did not receive any of those clothes, and I hope it means that this foster family is saving them for another foster child.)
Finally, finally, it was time to go to the Civil Affairs Office. In Nanning, it occupies a floor of a hotel, and it has little suites - a waiting room, interview room, and the room where we would meet the babies. We were the first family there (and only one with our agency), and then four other families showed up. After what seemed like an enternity of waiting, there was a rush of activity in the hall.
The babies were there!!! We saw a flash of pink carried in someone's arms, and Grace took off like a shot. We waited anxiously until Grace returned and told us that it was our turn. We walked into the room and saw the most beautiful, sad, confused little baby, standing on the floor balancing against a ball. A nanny from the orphanage was by her side. Her hair was meticulously plaited and swept into two massive pink bows. She looked at us with mild interest, until the nanny told her to walk over to her new mama and baba. She looked at us, went to the nanny, and started screaming and crying. No one can tell me that 14 month old babies cannot understand, because Lillie-Kat KNEW that something strange was going on. We got down on the floor and approached her slowly, with a stuffed pink bunny that sings when you pull its tail. She latched onto that bunny, tolerated me picking her up, and continued to cry (and wail, and cry, and wail...). We have video of this moment (which I have not decided if I will share) but no pictures, as we were consumed with dealing with a very, very sad and confused baby.
Our guide whisked us out of the Civil Affairs builing - Lillie-Kat's lungs announcing our arrival. Other parents whispered "she's beautiful" into our ears as we left, and we were grateful, but our hearts ripped apart for our little girl. We got back to the hotel room and she continued to cry and scream. The photographer came for the official photo for the adoption certificate - and oh yeah, Lillie-Kat's face is scrunched up, mouth gaping as she wailed the whole time! Grace came to do some paperwork, and Lillie-Kat ran to her - finding comfort in Grace's features and voice. Grace, ever the BEST guide, said "I'm not helping here!" and left, telling us to call if we needed anything.
We tried our best to comfort her. I sent James to get takeout (with Grace's help - have I mentioned yet how awesome she was, and how spoiled we were to be the only family in the province?) and Lillie-Kat finally fell asleep in my arms after I sang a little song I made up in Chinese. (This was our first clue - she responds best to anything musicial for ANYTHING). I was too scared that I would wake her if I put her down, so she slept on my chest for almost two hours (and I am not sure, but I think this helped build trust between us). Here she is:
After she finally woke up, we got her changed and decided to see if she would eat. Uuuum, yeah, she ate!! She was starving, and ate like a champ (fried rice, and the insides of dumplings, and some of my spicy noodles - all from the restaurant next to the Majestic). She even let James feed her, and the daddy-daughter bonding began:
Don't laugh at the assortment of bottles and sippy cups - we were trying to figure out what she wanted! As you can see from her expression, she was none too sure about any of it!
My favorite picture from the day:
After dinner, we were shocked when she fell back asleep. We put her in the crib, thinking NO WAY will she sleep in there! Exhausted too, we both fell asleep... and woke up on our own at 6:30 am and looked at each other in shock - Lillie-Kat slept through the night! (And was still sleeping - we had to wake her up!)
And with the morning light, a new day had truly begun... More on the rest of our time in Nanning in my next post.
*These photos are a vital part of Lillie-Kat's life and history. They will be for her to share if she wishes, and for that reason, I am not publicly posting these photos. I trust you all understand.
We had a free day the rest of Sunday, and used it to catch up on some sleep (James) and explore the neighborhood (me). Our guide offered to take us shopping, but we decided to wait for later for that.
We expected to meet Lillie-Kat at 9:30 am on Monday the 7th, so we nervously ate breakfast and got dressed. Just before we were ready to leave, Grace called and said the Civil Affairs Office called and Lillie-Kat had JUST left the SWI, three and a half hours away! So we wouldn't meet her until 3:30 that afternoon. We used the time to go buy a stroller (If you're going to Nanning, ask your guide to take you to the 4th floor of Heping Shangchang - it's a local shopping place that's half the price of the mall that most people go to).
When we got back, I had a message that a courier from Grace & Hope, the organization that sponsored Lillie-Kat's foster care, had dropped off the promised CD containing pictures and reports from the G&H social worker. We looked at the photos on Grace's computer -- it was an incredibly emotional time. The CD contained dozens of photos from when Lillie-Kat was just a month or two old and still in the orphanage all the way up to the present. The biggest gift was the photos of Lillie-Kat with her wonderful foster family.* The love in their eyes for this child is so evident, and James and I both cried over the thought of their pain at relinquishing this beautiful, beautiful baby. After we met Lillie-Kat, we gave thanks even more for the foster family's love and attention, as we soon learned that Lillie-Kat is healthy, developmentally on target, emotionally well-adjusted, and a host of other miracles that can only be explained by love. (In each photo, Lillie-Kat was immaculately dressed, sometimes in hand-made and crocheted clothes. We did not receive any of those clothes, and I hope it means that this foster family is saving them for another foster child.)
Finally, finally, it was time to go to the Civil Affairs Office. In Nanning, it occupies a floor of a hotel, and it has little suites - a waiting room, interview room, and the room where we would meet the babies. We were the first family there (and only one with our agency), and then four other families showed up. After what seemed like an enternity of waiting, there was a rush of activity in the hall.
The babies were there!!! We saw a flash of pink carried in someone's arms, and Grace took off like a shot. We waited anxiously until Grace returned and told us that it was our turn. We walked into the room and saw the most beautiful, sad, confused little baby, standing on the floor balancing against a ball. A nanny from the orphanage was by her side. Her hair was meticulously plaited and swept into two massive pink bows. She looked at us with mild interest, until the nanny told her to walk over to her new mama and baba. She looked at us, went to the nanny, and started screaming and crying. No one can tell me that 14 month old babies cannot understand, because Lillie-Kat KNEW that something strange was going on. We got down on the floor and approached her slowly, with a stuffed pink bunny that sings when you pull its tail. She latched onto that bunny, tolerated me picking her up, and continued to cry (and wail, and cry, and wail...). We have video of this moment (which I have not decided if I will share) but no pictures, as we were consumed with dealing with a very, very sad and confused baby.
Our guide whisked us out of the Civil Affairs builing - Lillie-Kat's lungs announcing our arrival. Other parents whispered "she's beautiful" into our ears as we left, and we were grateful, but our hearts ripped apart for our little girl. We got back to the hotel room and she continued to cry and scream. The photographer came for the official photo for the adoption certificate - and oh yeah, Lillie-Kat's face is scrunched up, mouth gaping as she wailed the whole time! Grace came to do some paperwork, and Lillie-Kat ran to her - finding comfort in Grace's features and voice. Grace, ever the BEST guide, said "I'm not helping here!" and left, telling us to call if we needed anything.
We tried our best to comfort her. I sent James to get takeout (with Grace's help - have I mentioned yet how awesome she was, and how spoiled we were to be the only family in the province?) and Lillie-Kat finally fell asleep in my arms after I sang a little song I made up in Chinese. (This was our first clue - she responds best to anything musicial for ANYTHING). I was too scared that I would wake her if I put her down, so she slept on my chest for almost two hours (and I am not sure, but I think this helped build trust between us). Here she is:
After she finally woke up, we got her changed and decided to see if she would eat. Uuuum, yeah, she ate!! She was starving, and ate like a champ (fried rice, and the insides of dumplings, and some of my spicy noodles - all from the restaurant next to the Majestic). She even let James feed her, and the daddy-daughter bonding began:
Don't laugh at the assortment of bottles and sippy cups - we were trying to figure out what she wanted! As you can see from her expression, she was none too sure about any of it!
My favorite picture from the day:
After dinner, we were shocked when she fell back asleep. We put her in the crib, thinking NO WAY will she sleep in there! Exhausted too, we both fell asleep... and woke up on our own at 6:30 am and looked at each other in shock - Lillie-Kat slept through the night! (And was still sleeping - we had to wake her up!)
And with the morning light, a new day had truly begun... More on the rest of our time in Nanning in my next post.
*These photos are a vital part of Lillie-Kat's life and history. They will be for her to share if she wishes, and for that reason, I am not publicly posting these photos. I trust you all understand.
posted by Heather at 8/30/2006 11:08:00 AM
1 comments
