Five months down

Today we are officially LID for 5 months. When we started the adoption, that meant we would have only one month to go. Oh how times have changed. Referral times have slowed drastically and it could be another five, six, or seven months until we get a referral. As a point of reference, China is only up to families registered on or before May 30, 2005. We were registered on October 26, 2005. There are a LOT of families ahead of us in this line. I get sad and frustrated. I am impatient. I feel silly for having a completely decorated nursery. I feel vindicated in my refusal to purchase even one item of clothing. I am partly relieved that I will not be plunged into parenthood, just yet, because I am afraid I will not know what to do. I am desperate to see the face of our little girl. Waiting sucks.