Bringing Home Lillie-Kat

Moving...

2006-09-27T13:18:00.000-07:00

Although I am emotionally attached to my blogger blog, it's time to move to a safer site for Ms. Lillie Kat. If you would like to come along, please email me for the password. If I do not *know* you, either in real life or by email communication, please let me know who you are. I will be transitioning this blog to a secondary typepad blog that will be open to the public, as my "archive." I'm still in the process of moving pictures over, and when I am done I will delete this blog. Thanks for coming along for the ride.

OK, all better now

2006-09-25T12:35:00.001-07:00

The Typepad people are trying to figure things out for me over at that blog, so I'll stick around here for now. I've spent so much time messing with the blog, I haven't updated it in forever... so why start now, huh? Just kidding. Here are some recent pix of Miss Lillie-Kat. Enjoy! A long over-due picture of Lillie at the beach over Labor Day weekend: Lillie-Kat and her Beanie-dog relaxing at the beach hotel: OK, tried to post more but Blogger is not cooperating... oh well!

Ignore the mess...

2006-09-22T07:39:00.000-07:00

that is my blog. I am trying to get it formatted to export to Typepad, and am having problems getting it up on Typepad so I have to leave it like this for a while. UGH. I am beginning to think I will just bag this whole idea.

A day of thank yous...

2006-09-15T06:47:00.000-07:00

Thank you Lillie Kat for stopping your screaming just long enough for the nurse could get a good EKG reading... Thank you J for dancing like a fool behind the nurse to coax the short pause in the screaming... Thank you Dr. S. for delivering the best news ever and telling us that LK's heart condition is extremely mild and nothing to worry about (though we will continue to monitor it)... Thank you Lillie Kat for recovering so quickly from your doctor's office "trauma" and being such a happy girl with such a generous spirit... Thank you to all of our friends who have supported us through the unknowns and who celebrated with us yesterday... Thank you Aunt H for your love, support, and medical advice... And the icing on the cake, thank you to my awesome blogger friend Colleen, who with impeccable timing sent a care package to Lillie that arrived right after the doctor's visit!! Thank you, thank you. Colleen sent the cutest little Asian doll and little outfit for Lillie - Can't wait to see Hannah in her matching set! Here's a picture of Lillie-Kat going for the doll: I tried to get a picture of Lillie-Kat actually holding the doll, but ya know, she's a toddler and did not sit still long enough!

Arrrrrrrrrgh...

2006-09-13T18:10:00.000-07:00

I set up a typepad blog so I can go password protected. The problem is that it's a total PITA to import all my posts from here... but I don't want to leave here a "dead" blog with random pictures of my kid... and I don't want to just delete here either. ARRRGHHHH. Why can't Blogger just go PW? And the new beta isn't really PW... just restricted access, so people have to sign up for a google account or something... ARGHHHH! That's all.

Home Sweet Home - And Life Post-China

2006-09-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

After a loooooooooooooooong flight (Lillie-Kat slept the whole way, but I had a brutal cold that made flying miserable and painful), a short night at an airport hotel in New York, and a commuter flight, on August 18, 2006, we were finally home! Friends and family met us at the airport, and we were so excited to finally see our house again! My brother and his family and my mom and dad hung around the day we got home - a nice quiet day, and Lillie-Kat and her cousin Luke had a great time bonding over the stuffed penguin he gave her (which she loved!) We were too tired to take photos, but my brother has some. When Lillie-Kat took a nap, Luke whispered to me that he wanted to check on her, and he brought the penguin to her crib - too cute! The next day, James' family, including aunts, arrived. It was a bit of chaos, but we figured we'd let them get their first glimpse in exchange for some time to adjust afterwards (they totally got this concept - thanks guys!). We were so touched that his family drove from far away to welcome home Lillie-Kat and we did not want her to "miss" this memory of knowing that she was eagerly anticipated and loved by the entire family*, but it was a tough day for me. My cold was still awful, I was jetlagged and exhausted, and my baby was jetlagged and exhausted. I enforced naptime for Lillie-Kat (and the relatives patiently waited in total understanding) and I took a little r&r myself. As my mom reminded me, I now got mommy privileges, including naps! Most importantly, Lillie-Kat handled it like a champ. She played peekaboo with people, and played with the other kids, but she would check in with us very regularly (by looking for us and for our approval) and didn't want to go to other people (and no one made her). These were all positive signs that she was continuing to bond and attach to us as her parents and caregivers. Everyone left Saturday afternoon, leaving just my mom and dad and me, James, and Lillie-Kat. Mom and Dad were great - sitting close to Lillie but never encroaching, and she warmed up to them quickly as you can see from this picture with my dad: My mom stayed for a week to help with the house, shopping, etc., which was a godsend and please everyone arrange for help! The first day James went back to work (the Monday after we got home on a Friday) was awful - still jetlagged, Lillie-Kat wouldn't sleep, I must have cried ten times... without help I don't know how I would have done it (Note: We did all the Lillie-Kat care. Mom did all the rest! I couldn't even manage to wash a dish, and thankfully she did it for me!) After that, it got better and better, and by Friday when my mom left we were all in good spirits. Here is mom playing with Lillie-Kat in L-K's favorite chair: Since then, we've been taking it easy. James (with Lillie-Kat's help) put together the jogging stroller: When the weather is good, L-K and I head to the park and I get exercise while Lillie-Kat get a good nap in her chariot. We've had some visitors, who she has handled well, and we've visited with friends at the local coffee shop. We also took her to the beach for Labor Day - I'll post those pictures in another post. For now, enjoy some gratuitous Lillie-Kat photos taken since we've been home. At the coffee shop playing with a friend's daughter: Goofing around with the playwall: Loving her kitty: Trying out the sippy cup: Apparently, we love that green dress! Oh well! So that's it. To China and back, and now our lives happily revolve around a 20-lb bundle of energy and personality named Lillie-Kat. We've enjoyed the ride, and are looking forward to the road ahead. I'm going to post a few more entries here, then I'll probably be moving to a password-protected site. I'll let you all know when I do that in case you want to follow us (though I will require some introductory info from those of you I don't "know"). This is to protect Lillie-Kat's privacy as she grows up, particularly as we deal with whatever challenges her heart condition may bring our way. Thanks to everyone for your good wishes, support, friendship, and comaderie throughout this process. I know many of you are in the waiting process, and I look forward to the day when I get to see the smiling faces of all of your children! *Yes, I know she won't remember directly, but it's something we can tell her, and we have pictures to show her (I look like crap in all of them so there's no way those are getting on the blog though!)

1 month anniversary!

2006-09-07T10:50:00.000-07:00

I know I promised home sweet home pictures next, but I'm interrupting my own blog to say HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY to us as a family! We received Ningning on August 7, 2006 at 3:30 in the afternoon... I can't believe it's been a month already! Here's a picture of her very shortly after we received her - you can see she is not happy: Now, here she is one month later, sleeping peacefully in her crib with her two loveys : Yes, I know a sleeping picture is boring, but that's the first time she has been still ALL morning... so I'll take it! And no, I did NOT put her in that position - she did that all by herself. Happy anniversary ningning - we love you!

China, Part 4: Guangzhou

2006-09-06T12:04:00.000-07:00

We left Nanning the afternoon of August 11 in the middle of a rainstorm caused by the typhoon that was lashing the Zhejiang coast, but luckily the weather cleared by the time we got to the airport. We were leaving without Ningning's passport, which wouldn't be ready until 5:00pm, but our guide had arranged for another family to carry it to Guangzhou. She told us not to switch to the later flight because it always got cancelled... and so despite my misgivings about leaving without this document, I trusted the wonderful Grace and boarded the earlier flight. (Good thing, because the 8pm flight was cancelled, and the remaining families missed getting their medical exams done that Saturday morning!) We sadly said goodbye to Grace, our guide, as we would get a new, Guangzhou-based guide in Guangzhou. Maybe it was our imagination, but we thought that even Grace looked a little sad as she watched us go through the security line. Anyway, the flight was uneventful and we landed in Guangzhou and were met by Kelly, out new guide. Originally we were going to wait for another family arriving a bit later, but Kelly decided to send us to the White Swan with the driver. We checked in STARVING with a sleeping baby and splurged on room-service hamburgers. YUM! The next morning, Kelly took us to get Ningning's visa photo (as with any official photo, she howled), and then to the medical exam, where, you guessed it, Ningning howled: Seriously, they were only taking her temperature! With the medical exam out of the way, we had several days to kill while our paperwork was processed at the Consulate. Kelly went over the paperwork with us to make sure everything was right. She also took us to the Chen Family Temple and the pearl market. I bought matching pearl and earring sets for me and Ningning, and a "ice jade" buddha pendant for me. I shopped in my typical way: walked in, found what I wanted, bargained, bought. That left plenty of time for Ningning to run around the mall while we waited for the other families (who were much more serious about their pearl shopping!). Luckily, Ningning and Zifeng, a little five year old just adopted by a Florida family, got along great: Zifeng is quite a helper! And she loved to help out with Ningning. I hope she and her family are settling in well!! We pretty much did our own thing in Guangzhou. Kelly arranged one other outing, to the toy market, but James and I decided to skip it in favor of lounging by the White Swan pool. Ningning was uncertain at first, but the other babies at the kiddie pool convinced her that the pool was ok, especially with her stylin' pool wrap and rubber duckies in tow: We did tag along on a Pearl River cruise outting organized by the coordinator for another agency. We had made friends with one of those families while in Nanning, and they invited us along. It was fun to see the river and James got video, but overall it is pretty overrated. The food was terrible, and I spent most of the time trying to keep Ningning occupied and happy (she thought the food was bad too!) It was fun to hang out with our friends and their adorable kids though. We also went to visit the Swedish replica of a cargo ship that sank on its voyage to China hundreds of years ago. James works for one of the sponsors, so he wanted to see. The ship was docked directly across the Pearl River from the White Swan so we walked along the water on the Shamian Island side, then crossed the big bridge and walked around the peninsula where the daily light show occurs to see the ship. We did not get to go on board, but Ningning did get to ride a cannon: We enjoyed Shamian Island and the White Swan and spent most of our time playing with Ningning and strolling the quiet streets. We were between big referral groups, so while there were other families around, it was not a zoo. Unfortunately, that made the shopkeepers all over the island a little pushier! I got pretty tired of the shops filled with the same stuff, but did take advantage of the cheap baby clothes shopping and bought Ningning quite a few outfits and shoes. Here she is testing her new pair of pink squeaky shoes in our room at the Swan: I was a little disappointed with the food on Shamian, mostly because I did not think the Chinese food offerings were very good. We ate at Lucy's several times, and it was fine. Apparently unlike most babies, Ningning thought their mashed potatoes were awful and refused to eat them! She loved their chicken and noodle soup though. The breakfast buffet at the Swan lived up to its incredible reputation, and we LOVED the Thai restaurant called CowBridge. Here's James with Ningning on our last visit to the CowBridge: Tip for parents: Try the steamed beancurd and broccoli for your kids. It comes in this honey-sweet sauce and Ningning tore it up, as did another baby we ate dinner with one night. Ningning also loved the waterfall and koi pond at the White Swan, so we visited there a lot. It took many, many, tries, but we finally got a decent picture of me with Ningning (ok, she's sticking out her tongue, but oh well, she was mid-babblestreak): After six nights in Guangzhou, we were ready to head home! But first, a last stop at one of Ningning's absolutely favorite places - the tree outside the ice cream shop. I think she and James are actually celebrating the mango ice cream I went in to buy for them but she does like looking at tree leaves (as we first discovered during our nightly walks in Nanning to soothe her grieving spirit): On that celebratory note, it was time to pack up our room at the Swan, get a good night's sleep, and head for home. After being gone for 18 days, even I, the experienced China traveler, was more than ready to head for home... and our waiting friends, family, and menagerie! Next stop: Home sweet home, and life with Ningning!

China, Part 3: Fun in Nanning

2006-09-01T10:43:00.000-07:00

On August 8, adoption day, we woke up to find a still-sleeping Lillie-Kat. We let her sleep as long as possible, then woke her up for breakfast. A new day had certainly begun! Though still wary, she now clung to us as well as to pink bunny! We quickly learned that breakfast with a toddler is not a quick affair, especially since our punkin loves to eat! Then it was back to the Civil Affairs Office for the official adoption. Lillie-Kat wasn't thrilled about going back in there, but I kept her in the hip hammock and she stayed calm, even giving out a few smiles. The interviewer asked us if we were pleased with Lillie-Kat and did we want to keep her... uuuum YEAH!! She asked us our plans for her and we talked about wanting to give her the best of everything, especially an education. The adoption officer really liked that and warmed up to us. Even though we look ghastly, here's a picture of us on adoption day: I got to speak to the nanny from the orphanage a bit and learned that Lillie-Kat was still on formula, not a picky eater, that she loves to go outside to play, and that she loves to go shopping. Yay! We also found out she loves a kind of drinkable yogurt, which we promptly went out to buy: Then we had to go to the notary, and while we waited outside, Lillie-kat and her baba got some face time: The rest of our time in Nanning was pretty relaxed. We went to a big park with a temple and did a blessing for Lillie-Kat, and then she got to feed the gigantic goldfish. She tried the goldfish food, and decided it was ok for the fish to eat instead! There was a big pagoda too - Lillie-Kat and I stayed grounded and ate ice cream, but James went up. We took a family photo in front of it: Everywhere we went Lillie-Kat attracted attention, especially at the Nanning Wal-Mart. Maybe because she is a rockstar in training? Her favorite place in the hotel room was this chair: In fact, she liked to sit there and eat like a big girl: Finally, after five and a half wonderful days in Nanning, it was time to head to Guangzhou. The packing must have been exhausting for Baba and Lillie-Kat (nevermind that mama did it all!). Here's a final snooze in that chair before heading off to the airport: Next up... playing around Guangzhou and heading home!

China, Part Two: Nanning and Lillie-Kat

2006-08-30T11:08:00.000-07:00

I will always love Nanning. It is not my daughter's hometown, but it is where we became a family. We arrived on Sunday, August 6, in the middle of rain from the edges of a typhoon. Even so, the air was a welcome relief after the smog and pollution of Beijing, and the small airport a quiet respite after the chaos at Capital Airport. Our guide, Grace (have I mentioned she was AWESOME?) found the driver and we drove off to the Majestic Hotel. Along the drive, I noticed that the scenery and architecture reminded me more of Thailand than China... just more tropical in feel. We were just 150 miles north of Hanoi, Vietnam, so we were definitely in the heat! With no major waterways (there is a river), it was not only hot but very humid the entire time. The Majestic was exactly as expected - grand lobby, nice sized room that were typical Chinese hotel - a little shabby, but neat and clean. We got a nice surprise at check-in to find out that not only had they put us on the non-smoking floor, but also there was a computer with internet in the room! Hooray! (Sorry for the lack of blogging while there - while I welcome everyone to read this blog, we wanted to keep our updates from China within friends and family, just because we had no idea how things would go). The crib was there and waiting for us too: We had a free day the rest of Sunday, and used it to catch up on some sleep (James) and explore the neighborhood (me). Our guide offered to take us shopping, but we decided to wait for later for that. We expected to meet Lillie-Kat at 9:30 am on Monday the 7th, so we nervously ate breakfast and got dressed. Just before we were ready to leave, Grace called and said the Civil Affairs Office called and Lillie-Kat had JUST left the SWI, three and a half hours away! So we wouldn't meet her until 3:30 that afternoon. We used the time to go buy a stroller (If you're going to Nanning, ask your guide to take you to the 4th floor of Heping Shangchang - it's a local shopping place that's half the price of the mall that most people go to). When we got back, I had a message that a courier from Grace & Hope, the organization that sponsored Lillie-Kat's foster care, had dropped off the promised CD containing pictures and reports from the G&H social worker. We looked at the photos on Grace's computer -- it was an incredibly emotional time. The CD contained dozens of photos from when Lillie-Kat was just a month or two old and still in the orphanage all the way up to the present. The biggest gift was the photos of Lillie-Kat with her wonderful foster family.* The love in their eyes for this child is so evident, and James and I both cried over the thought of their pain at relinquishing this beautiful, beautiful baby. After we met Lillie-Kat, we gave thanks even more for the foster family's love and attention, as we soon learned that Lillie-Kat is healthy, developmentally on target, emotionally well-adjusted, and a host of other miracles that can only be explained by love. (In each photo, Lillie-Kat was immaculately dressed, sometimes in hand-made and crocheted clothes. We did not receive any of those clothes, and I hope it means that this foster family is saving them for another foster child.) Finally, finally, it was time to go to the Civil Affairs Office. In Nanning, it occupies a floor of a hotel, and it has little suites - a waiting room, interview room, and the room where we would meet the babies. We were the first family there (and only one with our agency), and then four other families showed up. After what seemed like an enternity of waiting, there was a rush of activity in the hall. The babies were there!!! We saw a flash of pink carried in someone's arms, and Grace took off like a shot. We waited anxiously until Grace returned and told us that it was our turn. We walked into the room and saw the most beautiful, sad, confused little baby, standing on the floor balancing against a ball. A nanny from the orphanage was by her side. Her hair was meticulously plaited and swept into two massive pink bows. She looked at us with mild interest, until the nanny told her to walk over to her new mama and baba. She looked at us, went to the nanny, and started screaming and crying. No one can tell me that 14 month old babies cannot understand, because Lillie-Kat KNEW that something strange was going on. We got down on the floor and approached her slowly, with a stuffed pink bunny that sings when you pull its tail. She latched onto that bunny, tolerated me picking her up, and continued to cry (and wail, and cry, and wail...). We have video of this moment (which I have not decided if I will share) but no pictures, as we were consumed with dealing with a very, very sad and confused baby. Our guide whisked us out of the Civil Affairs builing - Lillie-Kat's lungs announcing our arrival. Other parents whispered "she's beautiful" into our ears as we left, and we were grateful, but our hearts ripped apart for our little girl. We got back to the hotel room and she continued to cry and scream. The photographer came for the official photo for the adoption certificate - and oh yeah, Lillie-Kat's face is scrunched up, mouth gaping as she wailed the whole time! Grace came to do some paperwork, and Lillie-Kat ran to her - finding comfort in Grace's features and voice. Grace, ever the BEST guide, said "I'm not helping here!" and left, telling us to call if we needed anything. We tried our best to comfort her. I sent James to get takeout (with Grace's help - have I mentioned yet how awesome she was, and how spoiled we were to be the only family in the province?) and Lillie-Kat finally fell asleep in my arms after I sang a little song I made up in Chinese. (This was our first clue - she responds best to anything musicial for ANYTHING). I was too scared that I would wake her if I put her down, so she slept on my chest for almost two hours (and I am not sure, but I think this helped build trust between us). Here she is: After she finally woke up, we got her changed and decided to see if she would eat. Uuuum, yeah, she ate!! She was starving, and ate like a champ (fried rice, and the insides of dumplings, and some of my spicy noodles - all from the restaurant next to the Majestic). She even let James feed her, and the daddy-daughter bonding began: Don't laugh at the assortment of bottles and sippy cups - we were trying to figure out what she wanted! As you can see from her expression, she was none too sure about any of it! My favorite picture from the day: After dinner, we were shocked when she fell back asleep. We put her in the crib, thinking NO WAY will she sleep in there! Exhausted too, we both fell asleep... and woke up on our own at 6:30 am and looked at each other in shock - Lillie-Kat slept through the night! (And was still sleeping - we had to wake her up!) And with the morning light, a new day had truly begun... More on the rest of our time in Nanning in my next post. *These photos are a vital part of Lillie-Kat's life and history. They will be for her to share if she wishes, and for that reason, I am not publicly posting these photos. I trust you all understand.

China, Part One: Return to Beijing

2006-08-27T12:03:00.000-07:00

August 1-5, 2006: After packing all of this baby gear* (along with our own meager allowance of clothing): into two suitcases not over 44 pounds each, we were off to China. I was eagerly anticipating my return to Beijing after a ten year absence. Still, with the help of some tylenol pm, I managed to sleep for most of the flight. I had been warned by friends that the city was not the same and that I would not recognize anything, and they were right. The airport expressway that used to end at the fourth ring road delivered us right into the Dongcheng district and our hotel, the PolyPlaza. So much had changed I almost did not realize I was standing across the street from the Swissotel, where I had a gym membership ten years ago! Although our Great Wall guide met us at the airport and got us to the hotel when we finally arrived in Beijing the morning of the 3d, we had planned on sightseeing on our own on the 4th. Enough of my Chinese had returned so that I was able to order us some dinner the evening of the 3d... I even remembered how to order one of my old favorites, yuxiangrousi. On the 4th, we fought off jetlag and visited the Summer Palace. It's always been one of my favorite sight-seeing destinations in Beijing, and I had to show James the infamous marble boat commissioned by the Empress Dowager. He did not believe me when I told him it was carved from marble and intended to float (it didn't), but here is is: The Summer Palace used to be far from the city limits, but now Beijing is quickly encroaching on this old suburb. It's amazing how fast the city is growing! After the Summer Palace we went to Liulichang for "antiques", and then walked through some hutongs to Qianmen. All the old shops and buildings are being torn down, and what used to be a jumble of street stalls and shops is now a construction site. It was sad to see so much of old Beijing under the wrecking ball, but some change is good. Wangfuqing is much more fun now that the crowded shopping street has been turned into a pedestrian mall with upscale shops and sidewalk cafes. We wandered around there after enjoying Peking duck, the local specialty. On the 5th, we met up with two other Great Wall families for the tour of the Forbidden City and the Great Wall. Here are a couple of pictures: As you can see from the photos, the weather the whole time in Beijing was hazy. A combination of pollution, a recent sandstorm, and the side effects of a typhoon. The pollution was bad enough that our clothes smelled after being outside... much worse than ten years ago! Beijing is well on its way to preparing for the Olympics. I noticed a huge improvement in the cab drivers, who no longer haggle over whether they will drive you and for how much. That was a welcome change, since I am no longer a "local," though it used to be fun to surprise the cab drivers by telling them which way to go! Bright and early Sunday morning, we gathered in the hotel lobby to head to the airport. Our guide was stressing out because the van driver did not show, so we moved out in a couple of cabs instead. At the airport, we met the phenomenal Grace, our guide for the Guangxi portion of the trip, and then it was off to Nanning for the real purpose of our trip... *A separate post on tips for other A-parents on what to take and what not to take will be forthcoming.

Home!

2006-08-22T18:46:00.000-07:00

We are home and (mostly) over the jetlag. Everyone is adjusting very well, including the dogs and cats (phew!). I promise a full post with pictures telling all about our trip very soon, but for now, just wanted to let everyone know that we are home safe and sound with our little one.

It's really here...

2006-07-31T19:56:00.000-07:00

The bags are packed (mostly), the flights are re-confirmed, the dogs are off to the kennel in the am, the housesitter is set up... Are we ready? It's been just over 13 months since we sent our application in, just over 14 months since Lillie-Kat was born. For the last year, we have hoped, dreamed, waited, and waited some more. We are ready. Is she? I don't know. Soon she will be torn from all that she knows. Soon she will learn about her new mama and baba. While this brings me incredible joy, it also brings me incredible sadness. For her birth mother and father, for her foster mom who has cared for her for almost a year, for her beloved country, which loses a baby girl who will surely be a shining star. I have said before that I have trouble with "God-speak." I go to China not to rescue a child, but to get my daughter. I believe it was meant to be, and that we would not be drawn down this path without a purpose. There have been too many signs along the way, some subtle, some that rose ahead of me like beacons in the night. I learned a long time ago not to ignore my instincts, and my instincts take us to China, and to this special little girl. I am starting to wonder if my "instincts" have a name, but that is a post for another day. It is here. Someone told me that everyone will tell us our lives will change forever. She said to tell them "that's the point." Get ready, baby girl. All our lives are going to change forever. And that's exactly the point.

Countdown

2006-07-27T05:10:00.000-07:00

Two more days of "work" -- not that much is getting done! Two more weekend days of last minute baby prep One more Monday for last minute packing and a massage (thanks Mom!) And then Tuesday - off we go! I can't stand it. We'll probably be at the airport 10 hours early!

Serious girl-friend love!

2006-07-23T18:00:00.000-07:00

My friends rock: I am now the proud owner of the SASSIEST and coolest diaper bag this side of L.A. LK is also now the proud owner of an assortment of Lillie Pulitzer clothes, fancy French lovie-dolls, and a Baka-Baku. (thanks mom!!) Run, do not walk, and buy one of these bad dream eaters of Chinese folklore for your children: We got tons of other stuff too, but the nicest part was having all my friends from all different parts of my life come together to celebrate LK's impending arrival. Thanks all! Love ya!

T-freaking-A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-07-18T18:54:00.000-07:00

That's right... TA... travel approval... that coveted piece of paper saying COME TO CHINA! We got it today! Should know more about travel tomorrow. Hold on baby girl... we're on our way!

Picture Sunday

2006-07-16T05:40:00.000-07:00

I've got a bunch of random things to post about so I'm just going to lump them all into a picture-post. First, the TBG crew came over for dinner last night.* Their daughter Hannah made a friend for life in Isabella, who has not stopped gnawing on the bone Hannah brought for her. These were taken this morning: Sabrina had so much fun last night she is now sleeping in: But best of all, check out what the very talented Maryellen MADE** for Miss Lillie: I just realized I forgot to put the matching red bow in the picture. Well, trust me, it's cute! Lillie also got this awesome dress: Thanks for the cool stuff and the fun time last night! And in other, non-TBG related news, the new PBK bedding arrived and love is not a strong enough word for how I feel about Lillie's new crib set: I think that about covers it for now. I survived another trip to New York without any mechanical failures (unless you count sitting on the runway in the tiniest tincan plane ever for two hours) and am off today to buy a) a cute dress to wear to my shower next weekend and b) baby stuff. *And just so you all know, my fridge has a little less beer this morning. See Maryellen's comments on this post. **She might have had a teensy bit of help ;)

Tweet tweet...

2006-07-09T19:39:00.000-07:00

If nesting brings on labor... then I really should have TA this week. I've done some serious cleaning and reorganizing. On July 4, while the parade gathered beneath my office window and I couldn't concentrate, I totally cleaned up my entire office. Everything is filed and labelled away. You can see my desk. Then Thursday night I order the PBK bedding I've been coveting for LK. Saturday J and I went shopping and got the video camera so we can capture!every!moment! of LK's life. We also got new towels for her bathroom... and came back and hung curtains. Then today, I don't know what came over me. Totally cleaned out the junk room... I mean guest room, reorganized that closest that was full of all the stuff we didn't know what to do with when we moved, rearranged the furniture, washed all the bed linens, reorganized the linen closet... You get the picture. Anyway, here are a few pics of LK's nursery with the curtains FINALLY up... notice the finial, I think I am in love:

Now you know...

2006-07-09T19:29:00.000-07:00

This is Colleen's fault... she tagged me to show off my neat-ish fridge and my wreck of a pantry: So here you go: I'm not sure what you can tell about us from this... except we don't have much in the fridge, and our pantry is the catch-all storage for everything from coolers to dog food. Oh well... blame Colleen ;)

Lillie Loot!

2006-07-03T18:37:00.000-07:00

My friends threw me a shower at work last Thursday - so much fun, and Lillie is certainly going to be a well-dressed girl! Notice the jogger stroller - my two best GUY friends at work (who also co-hosted my shower) went to BRU all by themselves... and even wrapped it!

Flashes

2006-06-28T16:55:00.000-07:00

I try not to think about what Ningning is doing every second of the day. I try to think in broad strokes... that she is in good foster care, that she is ok. It doesn't always work. I am not traditionally a cryer. But lately, I have moments when tears just spring to my eyes. Sometimes it is when I am looking at her picture. Or when the lady at the NICE* daycare said she would do everything she could to get her in, that she would be joining two other little girls from China, and how nice that would be. Sometimes it's just when I'm driving to work. These spells come as brief, sharp, flashes. Flashes I feel must mean something. Maybe her foster mom is telling her about her new family coming to get her, and that everything will be ok. Those are good flashes. Then there are bad ones... something is wrong, she is sick. Mostly there are good flashes, connecting me in spirit to my daughter so far away. And these are all I have to hold onto, until I can hold onto her. *as opposed to the NOT NICE daycare, who said I'd never get a toddler in because "we grow our own here." NOT KIDDING.

Grumpy Goldfish

2006-06-25T14:27:00.000-07:00

I am grumpy, because I know that there is no way that our TA is in the big bag of referrals headed to our agency right now. I am thrilled for everyone who is getting a referral tomorrow, but I want my TA, danggit! So today at the grocery store I found these on sale... and bought TEN bags*! My logic? Lillie will need Goldfish to eat. Apparently that's ALL she's getting to eat once she gets home**! *they were 10 for $10. ** I'm kidding. If you don't know that and want to use that as evidence that I will be a bad mom, go away.

Long walk home...

2006-06-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

Please go over to my friend Alyson's blog and post a message of support. She is helping her father -- and her whole family -- navigate the difficult last stages of life. H

Nesting?

2006-06-24T07:54:00.000-07:00

I think I'm nesting. Of course, there's no physiological reason for this, because I am not *actually* in the ninth month of pregnancy. But I was gone for three days, and all I wanted was to get HOME. Not normal for me. Unfortunately, the mad cleaning/organizing part of nesting hasn't kicked in yet, and it needs to! Time is flying! Arrrrgh. Going to make myself go organize something. H

Summer in the City?

2006-06-19T17:32:00.000-07:00

Colleen and I are scheming to put together a little Blogland Reunion in NYC in mid-July. We are thinking good food, good wine, good shopping... Come on ya'll... let's jump out of Blogland and into real life for some Summer in the City fun!! Let me or Colleen know if you are interested - the more the merrier! H ps: Or, if the NY idea doesn't work, and someone can come up with a reasonable BEACH weekend idea... let us know that too!

Why I am anxious to get to China...

2006-06-18T18:42:00.000-07:00

nuff said:

Lillie Gear!!!!!

2006-06-17T19:47:00.000-07:00

I was playing today and realized Little Miss Lillie-Kat has already collected quite some good stuff. Modeling the latest in froggy fashion, here are Froggy Chair* and Froggy towel**: And then there is Little Miss Piggy(Bank)***: And her very best blankie****: A chair full of goodies*****: And yes, the dog is included******: *her first gift ever, thanks to "Isadorable" **Thanks B, for the gift and the story... now I just need a froggie umbrella ;) ***Auntie J has already started LK's savings account! ****Courtesy of AmyEsq, the best secret pal ever, who is also responsible for much of the swap in the "chair full of goodies" *****AmyEsq and Candy are the generous benefactors for most of this... oh and LK's "Mumsie" too - thanks all! And just ignore the cat's butt! ******Every girl needs a dog! Thanks Aunty Faith for the cute clothes too!

Recovering kitty

2006-06-17T19:44:00.000-07:00

Poor Gertie... she's recovering from ACL surgery* and soaking it up** while she can! *Yes, you read that correctly. Our cat had an ACL repair. Don't ask. **That's J, in a rare blog appearance.

Curiosity killed the cat!

2006-06-14T20:09:00.000-07:00

Who are you, my blog readers? Come out, come out, whoever you are and say hi!! Heather

Reflections on referral day

2006-06-02T18:55:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, May 10, our lives changed forever. I had imagined "referral" day a thousand times, and it was nothing like I expected. When we started this journey, we, like many other parents, went straight into the "traditional" program. As in file your dossier and wait not-so-patiently for the CCAA to match you with "your" child. So this whole time, I was imagining that I would eventually tell people at work, and I would have people on the referral countdown with me... I planned to shout it from the rooftops when the call came in. Things worked out very, very differently. And I am so thankful, because the way things worked out gave me a few days of quiet introspection to enjoy the pure, pure joy of learning who our daughter is. When we began this process, we had not thought much about the waiting child lists, for a couple of reasons. First, to be frank, we were not very educated on special needs adoption. Second, we were apprehensive about looking at a list and "picking" a child. But as the wait stretched on, I saw more and more families receiving special needs referrals. J and I started talking about these "special needs" and discussing how we would handle various situations. Ultimately, we came to the conclusion that we had better be prepared for a "special needs" child, because there are simply no guarantees, no matter how your family is formed. We discussed the various special needs that could arise if we have biologicial children. We discussed the various special needs that could arise if we stayed in the traditional program. As we discussed it more, we realized that to be parents means to be equipped to deal with whatever "special needs" could arise. The two are inextricably intertwined. Around the same time, our agency announced a new list would be coming out soon. I asked J if he thought we should look at it. He said yes. Together we decided we would identify the special need we would be comfortable applying for BEFORE the list came out. We felt a little less like we were "shopping" this way, because it wouldn't necessarily be about the pictures of the children. I was sure that there would not be any children with the special need we discussed on the list. The list was posted when I was at work. I was so sure I was going to be disappointed. I scanned quickly, and there were four children! I still hadn't looked at the pictures... how was I going to decide? I didn't decide. Something larger than me took that on. I clicked on the first picture, oh how precious. The second, cute as a button. The third... and my stomach dropped, I let out an audible "oh!" and my eyes filled with tears. I immediately called J... and he knew too. (Oh, and this was payback, for all the times I shook my head and said, I don't know how you can choose from a list... turns out, the choosing goes the other way). I sat for a few minutes, in the quiet of my office with the door closed, and listened to the silence. And I knew we had to apply for this little girl. The next week and a half dragged by in slow agony. We were not the only ones applying, and I knew it. I jumped every time the phone rang. My cell phone was glued to my body. Still, no word. On Wednesday, May 10, just around 2:00, my cellphone rang. I literally threw a paralegal out of my office and slammed the door. It was my agency, calling to get more information from us. My mind and heart raced. I babbled. She thanked me and said she hoped to have a decision in the next day or so. I hung up, called J, and practically cried. I knew I'd blown it. He said he was sure I did fine. I was definitely not so sure. I tried to stay calm. I reached out to the handful of people who knew we had applied to help keep me sane. (We told almost no one, sensing the disappointment would be too great for our families, and we just did not want to tell friends). I, of course, could not keep it totally in and told a few close friends. (Thank you, P, E, L, E, and A, for being with me during this time). I tried to figure out how I would survive until the next morning. My cell phone rang again. Too soon! I thought. It had only been two hours. It was my agency again. She spoke so calmly, I was sure it was the rejection phone call. "I just wanted to let you know that we have completed our review of the applications for ___," she said, "and we have decided..." My heart stopped. Her voice was too low. Not good news. "...and we have decided that we would like to place her with your family." If the world could spin, and stand still, all at once, that is how I felt. I squeaked... "oh my god!" I cried. I giggled. My hands shook. My agency coordinator was fantastic... sat on the phone and laughed and cried with me, even though she had many more families to call that day. I called J. "She's ours," I said. "I knew it," he said. There was no shouting from the roof tops.* I was still a work, where this was all a big secret. I sat by myself and felt an incredible peace flood my body, my soul, and my heart. I looked around my office, turned out the lights, and went home. I opened the door to her nursery for the first time in months and breathed the fresh, clean scent of all-things-new. And I smiled. I'm a mom. J is a dad. Lillie Katharine is on her way home. *ok, there was a little shouting, as I frantically sent messages to those who had been enduring the wait with me... you know who you are, and after putting up with me, you certainly deserved to share the good news.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl

2006-05-28T14:16:00.000-07:00

Tonight before I sleep, While you play half a world away I promise to look up at the night sky And follow a moon beam all the way Until it touches the ray of sun Shining on you, my little one On your very first birthday. Let the sun's warm embrace And the moon's soft touch Carry my love to you. 別急,小孩子,媽媽快來 © hcw 2006.

I can't believe it...

2006-05-25T19:06:00.000-07:00

I'm traveling for work again, and guess what ya'll, they let me have another firm laptop!!!! Can you believe it, after the last debacle? hehee... my boss is even with me. And I almost dropped the dang thing checking in to the hotel. Again... not taking laptop to China!!

These boots are made for walking...

2006-05-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

You Are Skinny Heel Boots

You always look great - from your styled hair to your sleek boots.

What Kind of Boots Are You?

Confusion in the baby aisle

2006-05-21T16:42:00.000-07:00

So yesterday J and I went to register. And spent a full hour in the bottle section. What type of bottle does a 12-15 month old need? What about sippy cups? Or transition cups?? Arrrrghh. So we settled on some of those Avent bottles with the disposable liners and the nipples with the biggest "spout" possible. And then we got some regular Gerber bottles and then a couple of sippy cups. Hopefully we got something she will like so she won't be miserable!!! I guess we'll buy some in China too, to have whatever she is used to. So if any of you BTDT parents have some suggestions on this bottle issue - please post a comment and help me out!! Other than the bottle trauma, registering was fun! Luckily we had already picked out the car seat and stroller... but it still took us over two hours to register. Yep, gonna be a spoiled baby. I can't wait!!

A secret -- Revealed!

2006-05-17T16:26:00.000-07:00

I've been quiet lately, waiting to announce our big news. Without further ado... meet Lillie Katharine Jingning!!!!!!! Here's the first picture I saw that grabbed my heart: This is James' favorite -- she's chillin', and check out the bike in the background: And I love the look on her little face in this one: Now the details!! We received the news last Wednesday, May 10, and could not be more excited. My feet have not touched the ground since, my mom is buying out the baby stores, and even cool calm James is grinning from ear to ear. More details: Name: Lin Jingning (to be Lillie Katharine Jingning) DOB: May 29, 2005 Living in foster! in Yulin, Guangxi thanks to www.grace-hope.org !!!!!! Weight at 1 day old: 6.6 lbs Weight at 4 months old: 14.9 lbs Our LOI is off to China this Friday in our agency's weekly packet... let's hope for a speedy TA!

Happy Anniversary to Us!

2006-04-12T19:34:00.000-07:00

This weekend, J and I are escaping the lowlands to celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary in the mountains (thanks Mom and Dad!). We'll be staying here in this lovely cottage. Did you see the size of that bathtub??? After the last couple of weeks (work, work, and more work), I cannot wait to fill that up and open a nice bottle of red wine. Sorry, got distracted by the bathtub. Back to the anniversary posting. Yep, six years! And I'm not even tired of him yet ;) In all seriousness, I got so lucky. He's my best friend, my co-conspirator, my confidante, my cheerleader... We've got such a great relationship, just the two of us, sometimes it's strange to think about a little kidlet in the picture. But I have a feeling that when she gets here, I will truly know the meaning of the phrase "cup runneth over," since it's already feeling pretty full. We've got a lot of love going around in this house... and it's such a nice place to be. H

Five months down

2006-03-26T17:49:00.000-08:00

Today we are officially LID for 5 months. When we started the adoption, that meant we would have only one month to go. Oh how times have changed. Referral times have slowed drastically and it could be another five, six, or seven months until we get a referral. As a point of reference, China is only up to families registered on or before May 30, 2005. We were registered on October 26, 2005. There are a LOT of families ahead of us in this line. I get sad and frustrated. I am impatient. I feel silly for having a completely decorated nursery. I feel vindicated in my refusal to purchase even one item of clothing. I am partly relieved that I will not be plunged into parenthood, just yet, because I am afraid I will not know what to do. I am desperate to see the face of our little girl. Waiting sucks.

Retail therapy much?

2006-03-23T18:18:00.000-08:00

Referrals are trickling out of China so it looks like at least fall before it's our turn. Quite a change from the initial timeline, when we expected a referral at the end of April. I'm not even going to get into how much this sucks. To cheer ourselves up, we bought a new car. Ours is all black, sunroof, phat stereo, etc. etc. We pick it up Saturday... whooohooooo. At this rate, we're going to shop ourselves out of house and home... ah well. At least LK will have a sweet ride. I can just imagine the sunroof open, the stereo pumping a little DMC and LK dancing in her fancy carseat*: *fancy carseat has not been purchased. LK is hoping fancy G-ma ponies up that one.

ok... I had this coming

2006-03-14T18:20:00.000-08:00

So appropriate after the previous post:

You Are 32% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

heh heh - he had it coming***

2006-03-13T17:22:00.000-08:00

Frodo is a punk. He's a sweet little punk, but a punk. With lots and lots of hair that gets very, very matted. It doesn't help that the dogs like to chew on him. So off to the groomers he went. This is Frodo before his haircut - a proud persian mix (a little blurry, but you get the idea): This is Frodo after his haircut: oh yeah... he's pissed!!! **No animals were harmed in the making of these photos. All haircuts were performed by licensed pet groomers.

Finally!

2006-03-05T20:01:00.000-08:00

An adoption song that isn't dripping in sugar... (click on the watch the video link in the middle) I love, love, love it. It helps that I am a huge Run-DMC and Sarah McLachlan fan anyway... but wow. Enjoy.

Positive spin

2006-03-02T18:33:00.000-08:00

So referrals are dragging out and it's possible we won't get our referral until October or even later (unless China really starts speeding up, which could also happen). There's also a little rumor going around that the CCAA likes to match children in part based on the child's birthday being close to the parents' birthdays. There is a connection between these two rumors. James and I both have April birthdays (and we were married in April too, so it's a GOOD month). If referrals DO drag until October for us, AND if the birthday rumor is true, we could be referred a six-month old!! That's my spin and I'm sticking to it.

Shopping....

2006-02-11T16:02:00.000-08:00

The internet is abuzz with cute baby clothes... My DTC group alone wiped out Gymboree's lady bug line. Apparently, this is what normal people do to fill the time while waiting to get our kids. What do we do? In one day, buy 1) a ginormous leather club chair and ottoman, and 2) a doubly ginormous, mack-daddy, TV: Yeah baby!!!! It's a good thing my wonderful friends are already planning a shower... because we clearly can't afford baby clothes anymore. At least she'll have a good TV.* *Anyone who knows me will know that I am kidding, but for the sake of blogland, I clarify. I'm morally opposed, but easily swayed by pretty things... like ginormous TVs.

The finish line keeps moving...

2006-02-01T09:36:00.000-08:00

We now have three months of waiting under our belts. This was supposed to be the half-way mark, the summit of the mountain, etc., etc. It's not. Timeframes for referrals keep stretching out. We heard today from our agency that our dossier is still in translation and has not even moved to the review room yet. (Translation --> Review --> Matching). Frustrating. So then I crawl all over the internet looking for rumors. Bad, bad idea. One agency (and I honestly don't know which) is telling people whose dossiers were logged in during July to expect a June or July referral! The CCAA has already matched through May 13th, so that means four months to match six weeks of dossiers! I can't even do the math to figure out what that means for us, with an October 26th log-in date. This sucks. We started this process thinking it would be six months... and yes, I know I am not entitled to a baby within "my" timeframe and that China is doing the damn best it can. But I am entitled to feel incredibly sad, frustrated, and disappointed. H

Really?!

2006-01-29T17:49:00.000-08:00

Seriously, do people really think we don't know what we're getting into? I told a distant relative this weekend that we are adopting from China, and she launched into a 10 minute lecture about a friend who adopted and how the process took forever and she had to go to China to pick up the child and how overwhelming it all was. Blah blah blah. I smiled and nodded. Did she not think, for one second, about who she was talking to? We're the ones who put the freaking dossier together, who are waiting impatiently, and are obsessively tracking the price of plane tickets for the "overwhelming" (her words) trip to China. So thanks for the insight. Maybe next time a simple "congratulations" would be more appropriate. H

Naked puppies!

2006-01-18T17:01:00.000-08:00

This is why we call her Griz: And then HAIRCUTS!!! Yeah, so they look like skinned muskrats. But cute skinned muskrats!!!! No more dreadlocks at least... I know, bad doggy mommy, bad doggy mommy. OK, so I promise to get Lillie Kat better haircuts. In fact, I've already lined up my oh-so-chic stylist Mark for the honors of styling LK. Yes, she will be "styled." not.one.word.

Round Two...

2006-01-15T15:28:00.000-08:00

It's been a rough weekend. On Friday, we flew to Massachusetts for my grandfather's memorial service (which was so very heartwrenchingly beautiful, I can't really describe it or even talk about it). When we landed, we found out that his dear sister, my great-aunt and surrogate grandmother, passed away at 11:30 that morning. Sigh. If Grandpa was the patriarch of our family, my great-aunt was the much-loved matriarch. She loved us all as children and grandchildren, filling the void when Grandpa's wife and my grandmother died of cancer long before I was born. Grandpa and my great-aunt lived out the last days of their lives together, just a fews doors apart at the facililty where they both ended up. They were truly best friends and companions... gleefully greeting each other several times a day (having forgotten they'd just seen each other). As dementia claimed both of them, they still recognized each other and delighted in each other's company. My great-aunt's health was fine before Grandpa died. I hated the thought of her left behind, alone and confused and looking for her brother. Now she has found him and while my heart aches for my own loss, I am so very grateful for their peace.

LIllie-Kat's Nursery Pix

2006-01-08T15:20:00.000-08:00

Number crunching

2006-01-04T19:23:00.000-08:00

I am not a numbers person. Not.at.all. Escaped the math requirements as quickly as I could in school. Ironic, because my life is now literally run by numbers. My day at work is counted in six-minute increments. The food that goes in my mouth is counted by each little carb. My time on the treadmill is counted by tenths of miles (always trying to get one more in...) And, of course, the most obvious - my "pregnancy" is measured by days and months that stretch out in front of me. I can control how six-minute increments get billed in a day, and how many carbs go in my mouth, and how many miles pass under my feet, but I can't control how many days and months will go by until we get our daughter. Did I mention I hate numbers?

2006-01-01T21:30:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I registered for this very practical diaper bag (in pink and green, duh!): But what I really, really want is this ridiculously expensive Saks exclusive: Is that so bad?

Grandpa

2005-12-31T06:13:00.000-08:00

I love these pictures of my grandpa. Since these are for the obituary and will be published in a bunch of newspapers, there's no harm publishing them here with my readership of about one ;) These pictures capture his spirit so nicely, especially the one of him sailing. Sigh.

Sad, sad day

2005-12-19T18:05:00.000-08:00

My Grandpa passed away this morning at 7:15 am. Funny thing is, I was running on the treadmill and at about the same time, I looked through the window at the moon, audibly sobbed, choked back tears, and thought of him, and wondered what everyone else in my family was doing at that moment. Then it passed, I finished my run, and got home to a voicemail from my mom. I still have trouble with God-speak, but the spirit that holds us all together definitely took a hit this morning, and I am grateful I felt the ripple. My aunt was with him when he died and said the instant he passed, he looked 20 years old again. He was 97, and much, much loved. He'd lived long enough to make peace with estranged children and grandchildren, forgive himself and others for all the slights of life, and to face the afterlife, whatever it may be, with total peace. We know this because for the last couple of years, he would say he was ready for the angels to come. We were so fortunate to have Grandpa so long, and I am glad he so peacefully moved into the next life. He was a special man to so many, and of course to me, and I will miss his wit, his love, his humor, and his Grandpa-isms. The really crappy part was I had to go to work and suffer through the day. I waved away the few people who tried to ask about him or offer condolences, and after a daylong meeting, broke down in my office at the end of the day. I had a complete meltdown in the car and on the phone with my brother, who was remarkably philosophical and much more together than I was. Which was good, because then I was prepared to talk to my dad (Grandpa was his father), and we were both ok. I was surprised at how grief-stricken I was at the news... I had been preparing for a week (he slowly faded...), and, he was 97! But being forced to say goodbye, when in truth he'd been "gone" for a couple of years, was brutal. Peace to all for the holidays. Peace to my Grandpa... the angels finally came. H

Christmas House!

2005-12-12T18:30:00.000-08:00

So this is just a bit blurry, but here's our house all decorated for Christmas. On Christmas Day, we'll have my mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law, and three-year old Luke. He's so psyched about Christmas... and it's his first in the States!! Luke is my brother's son (technically stepson, but whatever) and they all just moved back from Thailand this past spring. Can't wait for Christmas! Oh and I didn't get fired. Apparently lawyers are generally irresponsible idiots with little regard for expensive property and break things like laptops all the time... the IT people laughed at my concern. Phew!!!

This confirms it... (I'm so getting fired)

2005-12-11T18:38:00.000-08:00

Definitely NOT taking a laptop to China. I took one to New York and not only was it a colossol pain in the ass with having to haul it out at security... but I also killed it. It slipped off the table at security and the screen is shot... like Jackson Pollack shot. It was a firm laptop... I'm sooooo getting fired tomorrow. Sigh. And I didn't even manage to buy baby loot on 5th Ave. But I did have the best Chinese food since, well, since China. Check back tomorrow to see if I still have a job. H

The Big Apple

2005-12-08T19:28:00.000-08:00

I'm in New York for work, but am taking the opportunity to catch up with college friends tomorrow night. We are celebrating the news of our adoption, and it is so nice to be out of the work environment where this is all secret. I had dinner with the partner on the case that's taking up most of my time (and who happens to be my practice group leader) and I think things will be ok when I tell them. I'm shopping tomorrow on 5th Ave and I will buy Lillie-Kat something. This is odd, but I can't shop without thinking of her. We were Christmas shopping last weekend and I was getting crabby and sort of upset, without knowing why, until I saw an Asian Cabbage Patch Baby and scooped it up for LK. And I swore NO DOLLS. Ooops. Funny thing is that after I bought the thing, I felt so much better. In a way, I just needed to acknowledge her "presence" with us this Christmas. I wanted something so I could say to her one day that we celebrated Christmas without you one year, but we loved you even then, and so we put a present under the tree just for you. Maybe that's over-nostalgic, but whatever. I bought her a card over Thanksgiving that I will save for the appropriate time. It says "Fate made us a family, but love kept us one. Happy Birthday" I'm think maybe when she's 15 or 16 and bitter about life, she might secretly appreciate something like that. I'll post when I get back with whatever ridiculous babygear I pick up shopping. H

And another one...

2005-12-01T17:56:00.000-08:00

Miss Sabrina Jane. What a girl. We found her little face on petfinder. Who dumps a dog like this at the KILL pound? Some people.

One of our "girls"

2005-12-01T17:49:00.000-08:00

Who wouldn't love a face like that? Lillie-Kat doesn't know the loving she's in for from this one -- big dog slurps. To make up for bringing a baby into Isabella's world, I've promised never to be one of those moms that doesn't let the dog kiss the baby. Obviously, by posting pet pictures, I've got no adoption news to report today.

Rumors, Rumors, and I want my daughter!

2005-11-23T17:47:00.000-08:00

So the internet and the agencies are burning up with rumors about the delays for referrals. No longer six months, it's now eight months. Or maybe 10-12 months. We'll just have to wait and see. I want my daughter. She could be born already, and every minute that passes is another minute that she is alone. Maybe she's still with her birth family. Maybe not. At some point, whether it's happened already or not, she will be left. Maybe in a market. Maybe at the orphanage. I obviously can't stop that from happening. And I can't control the time until I get her. But that doesn't mean that I don't wonder, every single day, if this is the day that she will be found. And frankly, that thought just sucks. There have been some wonderful posts on my DTC Yahoo group* about how those of us who form our families through adoption end up on this path becuase it is a path we can walk. I haven't commented on those threads because most who have discussed this have come from the perspective of infertility. That isn't our issue (or, to clarify, we don't think that's our issue. We haven't tried) and I don't want to say anything that seems to demean their pain. But I really feel we are on this path because we can walk it. There's really no other explanation for this inexplicable draw I have always felt towards adopting from China. Not just adopting (though I would). Adopting from China. It's been such a strong draw that I can't imagine turning away. Luckily, I married a man who understands this draw and is in on the ride. I have never doubted how much he will love Baby. I'm not really comfortable with the "God-speak." And particularly in the adoption context, where some people talk about "saving" their children from living in a Godless country. I will celebrate if my daughter comes to me and says she is a Buddhist. I will give her the tools to make those decisions. I'm digressing. My point is, we are on this path. I don't know, exactly, why. Maybe it's a God thing. Maybe it's a kismet thing. Or a red thread thing, as the Chinese saying goes (the saying originated between lovers but has been appropriated by the adoption community to mean the connection between parent and child). But it's our path, and frankly, it's a tough one for people like me who are used to controlling our lives. There's no control here, but just faith that on the other end, our daughter waits. And that is worth it. Happy Thanksgiving. *a DTC yahoo group is a cyber-support group for people who sent their dossiers (applications) to China at the same time. The thought is that we will all be on the same timeframe, and possibly travel together.

DTC!!!!!!!

2005-10-23T09:48:00.000-07:00

We are officially in the black hole of waiting, waiting, waiting. Our dossier was sent to China on October 7. Once we get a log-in date, it will be between 6-7 months until our referral! So in the meantime I obsessively track the cost of plane tickets (we WILL fly business class, come hell or high water...) and learn baby lingo (crib bumper - HUH??). And for others in the adoption process who, like me, constantly seek nuggets of information from other adoptive families, here is our time line: 6/10: Sent application to Great Wall 6/17: Sent I600A to BCIS 6/23: I600A receipt date 7/5: Started homestudy 8/9: Homestudy complete - draft received 8/23: BCIS fingerprinting appointment 9/1: Final Homestudy received and sent to BCIS 9/21: I171 Received 10/2: Dossier fed-exed to Great Wall 10/7: DTC!!! 10/26 LID!!!!

Heather and James

2005-09-05T11:44:00.000-07:00

Heather and James
Originally uploaded by ncmommy2b.

And so it begins

2005-09-04T20:43:00.000-07:00

With the wait for the pre-approval from the US immigration people underway, we are beginning to get used to waiting... and waiting... and waiting. Then it's on to another, much longer wait, as our documents wing their way to China and we sit back for the long six-seven months until we are hopefully referred a beautiful little girl who entered this world thousands of miles away, and who will become our little Lillie-Kat.